14When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15“Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.”
17 “You unbelieving and perverse generation,”Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.”18Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment.
19Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”
20He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:14-20
These last few weeks I have been back home on the farm seeding our crops. We had quite a few set backs this year. What should have taken 1 week took us almost 3. Since I am prone to worry, I had much character building. This spring was also particularly frustrating, as hubby could only get 1 week off for seeding, followed by a week he HAD to be at work, and then another week off if we needed it (we live in Northern Alberta and farm in Manitoba and Saskatchewan). So from day 1, we were rushed, and tired from the long trek across the prairies.
We had many problems with the air drill to start. Due to cost, hubby decided last fall to not do some fairly expensive repairs and run with the patched drill again. This wouldn't have been a huge deal if we had maintained our 110 acre farm, but we didn't. We grew to 500 acres. So, between low air to due many leaks and eventually learning that water was getting into our hoses, we had plug after plug after plug. Needless to say we became really talented at unplugging the drill, and we became rather frustrated. Once we were able to figure out what the problem was, and address it to the best of our ability in field
(Coke can and duct tape, and then eventually hose and tuct tape, and drying the lines each morning), we were able to seed fairly quickly. Then, however, the tractor started blowing hoses. We had hydraulic oil everywhere.
Repair time is slow, as we have a minimum of a 45 minute drive to town, plus the running around to find parts, followed by the 45 minute drive back. That combined with a lawyer visit at noon on an ideal seeding day (we were buying more land), the semi breaking down, the elevator breaking down when we were loaded with canola, and rain at less than ideal times, seeding dragged on and on. You might be wondering what all this had to do with the scripture posted above. Well, I was a mess. I was stressed out. I was worried we wouldn't finish seeding, then we wouldn't be able to pay the bills, and we had just invested in a sprayer... so I was basically freaking out that we would fail and go bankrupt.
But through this whole experience, I learned how to give my worries to God. I learned not to fear. And I learned that I needed to have faith to succeed. As long as I was focused on my problem rather than God, I was consumed by worry, I couldn't eat, I felt sick and my mind went to very bad places. When I was focused on God and my many blessings, I was a much more pleasant person, I was able to support my husband and encourage him rather than bring him down by telling him everything he did wrong. I also had a couple wake up calls... really the worst that would happen to us, is we would have a rather tight year financially if we didn't get everything seeded. We would still eat. We would still make our payments. We would still have our health and each other.
Now that I am back home in Alberta for a couple week, trying not to stress about the fact that there is no one to check on the crop for 5 days, I have picked up the book I had started a while back, "The Blessing of the Lord" by Kenneth Copeland, and I have resumed this study: http://shop.kcmcanada.ca/prayers-answered/#.U6HrDF7lfmJ , which God had me start in the middle of seeding.
These last couple days I have kept coming back to the mustard seed faith. Having just planted canola, I am very aware how big a mustard seed is (canola and mustard are in the same family, and very similar plants). The seed is tiny. Here is a picture from last year's canola crop.
I have been asking myself lately, "Do I have mustard seed faith?" I always thought I did. And don't get me wrong, I have had many victories in my life! I have seen God move, and have experienced his miracles. But, when it comes to farming, do I have mustard seed faith? I am leaning towards "I thought so... but maybe not". So today, while I was making lunch for the kids, and reading doing my daily chores I started thinking about planting a seed of faith. So let's say I do have mustard seed faith. So, I need to plant this seed of faith into fertile soil, rather than infertile soil. How to I make my soil fertile? Well, probably by reading the word of God, praying, praising, etc. These things will cause the seed of faith to germinate and emerge from the ground.
It's a pretty tiny, fragile plant when it first emerges. Susceptible insect damage, frost, hail, weeds, to name a few. So, when my seed of faith emerges... how do I keep it growing? How do I protect it from doubt, fear, and unbelief (the weeds, insects and weather) so that I can have a bountiful harvest?
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| flea bettle damage |
The answer that comes to my mind is spending time with God everyday. Reading the Bible, praying continually, thanking God, being obedient, tithing. Then that seed of faith grows to be a large plant of faith. Which produces many more seeds of faith, which can be planted in fertile soil and grow into many more plants of faith.
Even Jesus's disciples had trouble having a mustard seed faith, but it is possible. And that faith will grow. I know my own life goes much better when I trust God. I will still have many challenges and hardships along the way. But I am a child of God. I am Blessed by the King, and dearly loved. I need to remind myself of this daily, hourly, perhaps every minute! I want to be able to move mountains! I want to believe that "Nothing will be impossible for [me]." And slowly, I am growing and relying more on my heavenly Father.
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| The reward at the end of a trying day. |
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| Loading in the dark to try to finish. That is me! |
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| This is when things were finally running fairly smoothly! |
